Back when I was 16, a raging case of mono disfigured my tonsils. I wasn't sick enough to warrant getting them removed, but the disease left those usless flesh pouches permantly swollen and pocked with craters.

To give you an idea, on an average day the uluva stays glued to the roof of my mouth, having no dangle-room betwixt the bully tonsils.

So far, not so gross, right?

Get ready for it...

Because the tonsils have more craters than the moon and food must pass that way to get to the belly, little foodie bits oft get stuck in the craters. Normally, I don't notice it, and because the tonsils are 90% scar tissue, they don't become infected. If I remember, I take a Q-Tip and poke our the disgusting chunks. When I forget, the craters become overly full of foodie bits over time and eventually disgorge a digusting, mottled pearl into my mouth.

Today's little suprise was the size of a pencil eraser.

Ew.

On Wednesday, Emily Keyes was taken hostage in her high school English classroom, sexually assulted, and then shot in the back of the head by a madman as she tried to run away when police stormed the classroom. She was 16.

"In memory of Emily we would like everyone to go out and do random acts of kindness, random acts of love to your friends or your neighbors or your fellow students because there is no way to make sense of this," spokesman for the Keyes family, Louis Gonzalez, told the press. "It's what Emily would have wanted."

You, too, can be my friend.